The Best 10 Adoption Books for Adopters

This list is for anyone who is considering adoption, currently going through the process, and those in the early months of being a family. I haven’t made it too long. I still remember what a busy time it can be, and I wanted to focus on the best adoption books out there for adopters.

When I first began my adoption journey, everything seemed to happen too slowly. I was also really excited, enthusiastic and wanted to know as much as possible.

In that time of waiting and preparing, I read a lot. Like a LOT!

I basically googled adoption books and probably read at least 30 of the books I found. Some were better than others, and some were quite specific, based on certain types of adoption. I read about domestic adoption, international adoption, adopting a baby, an older child, a child with a complex disability, a sibling group, and open and closed adoptions.

I wished at the time that someone had given me a suggested reading list for adopters. It would have been so helpful.

In this list I have complied the best adoption books that I read. These are also quite general and apply to most people, especially those going through the UK adoption process. However, if you are looking for specific recommendations, please feel free to reach out to me via the contact page. I will do my best to help.

This post may contain affiliate links, which means I’ll receive a commission if you purchase through my links, at no extra cost to you. Please read full disclosure for more information.

Adopters Reading List. Image of a book called, What to Expect when you're Adopting, and a mug of tea.
The 10 Best Adoption Books for Adopters

Books about What to Expect from the Adoption Journey

When I was just beginning my journey to adopt, I wanted to know everything possible about the process and what it would actually be like. I looked online for recommendations for the best adoption books for adopters, but couldn’t find one anywhere.

That’s why I have decided to make this one. These are my favourite three books that prepared me for the process.

Personally I liked ‘No Matter What’ the best. I learn best through stories and this one really tugged at the heartstrings. It also gave a good overview of the process and then life after adoption.

Have a read through my short reviews to see which appeals most to you.

A picture the Adoption Book for adopters, What to Expect when you're Adopting, lying on the grass.
What to Expect When You’re Adopting : One of the Best Adoption Books for Adopters.

What to Expect when You’re Adopting

This is a very thorough, in-depth book about the process of adopting and the reasons why the social workers ask what they do of us.

It’s full of tips and suggestions for you throughout the process.

The author was adopted himself so writes with understanding, as well as plenty of research, to educate and give a thorough overview of what adoption looks like today.

This is also a great book if you’re still on the fence about adoption as it gives you lots to think about.

You can buy it from Amazon here.

Personal Stories from Adopters

A picture of an adoption book for adopters, An Adoption Diary, lying on a try, with a cup of tea and some daisies surrounding it.
‘An Adoption Diary’ is a great Adoption book for Adopters who are just starting the Process.

An Adoption Diary

This short book tells the story of a couples journey to adopting their son.

It is heavily focused on the process, from first inquiry right through to settling into family life.

I found it very informative and it also made me consider all the different emotions involved throughout the process. Bare in mind that it is just one persons perspective and everyone’s experience, just like everyone’s children, will be different.

That being said, it was helpful to have such a close look at the process from the perspective of an adopter.

You can buy it from Amazon here.

A picture of an Adoption Book for Adopters, 'No Matter What', lying on the grass.
‘No Matter What’ is a great personal story about Adoption from the Adopter’s perspective.

No Matter What: An Adoptive Family’s Story of Hope, Love and Healing

This is a long book, but well worth a read.

I actually struggled to put it down, it was that captivating.

Sally Donovan works for the charity Adoption UK and was previously the editor of their popular magazine, Adoption Today. She writes candidly about the process, but equally about the first few years of parenting a sibling group of 2 young children.

I love her vulnerability and openness in this book. She honestly had me laughing out loud one minute, and then in actual tears the next as she recounts the highs and lows of the experience.

This is probably my favourite of all the adoption books that I have read. This is without a doubt a book you need to read before you adopt.

You can buy it from Amazon here.

Therapeutic Parenting Books for Adopters

A picture of an adoption book for adopters, 'A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting', lying on the grass.
‘The A – Z of Therapeutic Parenting’ is a brilliant Adoption Book for Adopters.

A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting

This is without a doubt the book that you need to have on your bookshelf.

Therapeutic Parenting is crucial for our kids, who have experienced trauma. It is quite different from the traditional reward/punishment style of parenting.

This book gives a great overview of what is meant by therapeutic parenting, why our kids need this type of parenting and how to do it. T

Then comes probably the most helpful bit: an A-Z section crammed full of all sorts of different parenting challenges, why they might be happening and what you can do to address them. So, for example, if my child has started spitting, then I can grab this book off my bookshelf, and turn to the section on spitting.

I can then start trying out the strategies straight away. I, personally, love this book!

You can buy it from Amazon here.

An Adoption Book for Adopters called 'Connective Parenting' sitting in a forest.
‘Connective Parenting’ was a really good Adoption Book to read as an Adopter.

Connective Parenting NVR

This is a handy short read about a great style of therapeutic parenting, how to do it, and how it helps.

She delivers courses on this technique and has countless stories of its success. I have been on some of Sarah’s courses and found them so helpful.

It’s written clearly and concisely. You could easily read a chapter of this at breakfast every morning and finish it in a week!

This book covers so many areas I hadn’t even considered and is full of quick, easy, practical tips that you can start doing right away to make family life better.

You can buy it from Amazon here.

A picture of an adoption book for adopters, 'Super Parenting', lying on the grass, surrounded by yellow flowers.
‘Super Parenting’ is an amazing adoption book for all adopters looking for the best parenting strategies.

Super Parenting!

This is not about being the perfect, super, parent! Don’t worry!

It is referring to the special type of parenting that our children need – therapeutic – and the fact that it takes extra effort compared to traditional parenting.

As a clinical psychologist, the author is very knowledgeable, yet writes in a way that is easy to understand and follow. She is very sympathetic to the challenges of this type of parenting. She encourages us to care for ourselves like we do our kids and gives lots of practical creative ideas.

You can buy it on Amazon here.

Adoption Books about Attachment and Trauma

An adoption book for adopters, 'Learning the Dance of Attachment', sitting on a wooden tray, surrounded by daisies.
‘Learning the Dance of Attachment’, is a great Adoption Book for Adopters to Read.

Learning the Dance of Attachment

This is another must read for all adopters.

Attachment is something that all social workers will be talking to adopters about.

Everyone needs to develop healthy attachments in order to function well in society.

This book is full of practical suggestions and advice for how to build a strong attachment with your adopted child. It separates suggestions into age categories. It shows how to make attachment activities work for any child, from a baby right up to a teenager.

This is a great book to dip in and out of as needed.

You can buy it from Amazon here.

An Adoption Book for Adopters, 'The Strange and Curious Guide to Trauma', sitting in a tree.
‘The Strange and Curious Guide to Trauma’ is a brilliant introduction to Trauma and it’s effects.

The Strange and Curious Guide to Trauma

This is actually aimed at 8-12 year old’s, but I think it works for everyone. Let’s face it, there is so much to learn when you embark on your adoption journey.

Any good social worker will drum into you the need to learn about trauma and its effects.

Every child who is removed from their birth family will have suffered trauma, even if they are removed at birth. This is a crucial topic for everyone.

Some of the books I’ve seen on trauma are awfully complicated. I think, especially for a first introduction to the subject, this little book really covers everything you need to know.

It’s easy to remember and has a short summary at the end in case you need to refresh your memory.

You can buy it from Amazon here.

The Best Adoption Books for Adopters to Share with Family

As an adoptive parent, trust me, you’re going to want to have close friends and family able and willing to support you both during the long adoption process and as you begin your family life.

Becoming a parent through adoption comes with some ‘extras’ that you don’t get when you procreate!

I found the following book a great resource to pass onto our friends and family to read while we all waited.

Related by Adoption: A Handbook for Grandparents and other relatives

This makes a great little gift for any adult who you hope will be involved in your child’s life.

It is short, simple and to the point.

It gives a great overview of the adoption process, the differences between birthing children and adopting them and how that may play out further down the line. There are handy tips for how they can support you and your child during the process and going forward.

I bought 3 copies of this and gave it to our kids future grandparents and aunts and uncles. They said it was really helpful, and so nice to feel involved.

This is definitely one of those crucial books to read before you adopt, and an important one to get your family and close friends reading too.

You can buy it from Amazon here.

An image of a children's book called, 'The New Small Person', in the forest.
‘The New Small Person’ helped us begin conversations with our son about adopting again.

The New Small Person

This is a brilliant kids book about getting a younger sibling.

Although written from the perspective of getting a new baby, the baby is only featured at the very beginning. The majority of the book follows a small child (4 or 5 years) and their younger sibling (2 or 3).

It offers a realistic look at life with a sibling and covers the good and the not so good.

My son absolutely loved this book when we began preparing to adopt a second time. He wanted to read it all the time, both before his sister came home and after.

It was also a great way to start the conversation with him and encourage him talk about his feelings.

You can buy it from Amazon here.

The Best Adoption Books for Adopters

I hope you found this list, of the best adoption books for adopters, helpful and that you found a few useful books to add to your collection.

These are just a few of my favourite books that I read when I was thinking about adopting and whilst I was going through my adoption home-study.

The parenting ones, I still dip in and out of now! They are always good for a refresher.

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